IF I COULD
by Shortie91
Summary: LIZWIN SONGFIC
1. If I could

**AN: **LIZZIE IS 16 1/2 THE REST ARE 17

**LIZZIE'S POV**

**I could pretend to love you,**

**And be someone else for you believe your the one that i want,**

**Give you my heart in diguise,**

**I could be all you wanted**

**Make all your dreams come true, yeah**

**Surrender my love**

**At the feet of your will**

**And live out your fantasy for you,**

I heard someone knocking on the door _So much for having time by myself_ "Hold on" I shouted I got up and ran to answer the door "Jamie?" I looked at him confused.

"Hey sweetie" he pecked me on the cheek "Sorry I'm late I had to pick up my little sister from school" he kissed me "Your not mad are you?"

I was about to ask him why he was here but then I remembered we were going to watch some movies together. I smiled hoping he wouldn't know I forgotten all about our date. I tried not to wince at the word date _What the hell is wrong with me? He's my boyfriend has been for months there's no reason for me to be upset we have a date. I should be excited he remembers unlike other guys where you have to keep reminding and they still forget_ I faked a smiled "No I'm not mad I was just going to get the snacks ready while I was waiting" I kissed him on the cheek "I knew you wouldn't forget about me"

"Yeah right me forget about an amazing girl like you…not going to happen honey" he kissed me I kissed him back. He tried to deepen it but I pulled away. He looked at me confused.

"Um…I should get the snacks before we get carried away" he nodded "Go ahead and pick a movie" I walked to the kitchen.

**AN HOUR LATER**

We were sitting on the couch his arm around my shoulders my head on his shoulder.

"Liz"

"Hmm?" I waited for him to talk to me and looked up at him when he didn't say anything "Jamie? What's wrong?" _Why does he look so worried? I hope his ok_

"Just a little scared that's all"

"Scared of what?"

"I have to tell you something and I'm scared of what your reaction would be"

I smiled at him reassuringly "Don't be it's ok" I caressed his cheek "You know you can tell me anything right?"

"Yeah I know that" he smiled back at me "Maybe that's why I love you"

I felt the color on my face instantly disappeared after he said that "You…what?"

"Oh shit" he pulled his arm away rested his elbows on his knees and put his head in hands "This is so not how I wanted to tell you"

"You" I gulped "You love me?"

"Yeah I think I do" _I think I'm having a panic attack…its ok Lizzie breath calm down_ "Now would be a good time to say something babe"

**And you would be happy,**

**And I'd make you smile**

**And I'd go on living a lie,**

_What do I do? I can either be a coward and say I love him back. He would be so happy he would smile at me thinking he finally found the girl he's been looking for. That he finally found true love. Meanwhile I'm just going to wonder how I got myself in this mess in the first place and living a lie_ I sighed _Or I can stop being such a wimp and tell him how I really feel. I used to always say the truth and what's on my mind even if it hurt someone. I always thought honesty was the best policy but that went out the window once I met Jamie. Is that really how I want to spend my life by lying? Telling him what I actually feel and not tell him what I think would make him happy_

I took a big breath "I think we need to talk" his face fell everyone knows someone's going to tell you what you don't want to here when you say 'we need to talk' but I can't lie anymore.

**But do you really want,**

**To give your life to,**

**Thinking you've found true love,**

**When it hasn't found you?**

"Great" he sighed and looked down "I tell you I love you and you want to break up with me"

"I'm sorry Jamie" I put my hand on his shoulder "I just don't think we should see each other anymore"

"You don't love me do you?"

"Jamie"

"Just answer the question Liz"

"Honestly?" he nodded "No I don't"

"Great that's just great" he said bitterly

"Well what do you want me to say? You want me to lie and say I love you back? Just grin and bare it? I'm sorry I can't do that. I can't pretend I love you and let you think I do…it'll just hurt worse if I lied now stayed with you until I finally explode and tell you the truth" I sighed "Do you really want that?" he didn't say anything just sat there.

**Do you really want,**

**To give your life to,**

**Thinking you've found true love,**

**When it hasn't found you?**

"Do you Jamie?" _I can't believe it he actually wants me to lie to him_ "Please tell me you don't want us both to lie" I begged him

"What do you mean both? I do love you" he looked me in the eyes I looked back trying to tell if he does or doesn't.

"No you don't" I shook my head "You think you do but you don't"

"How would you know if I did or didn't?"

"Its not in your eyes James eyes are the window of the soul remember? I don't see love in them" I can tell he doesn't want to believe me but it looks like he's having a hard time not to.

**I could make you a promise,**

**And be all you want me to you my hand as we walk down the aisle**

**So you could live happily.**

"Jamie you know deep down we're not right for each other" he looked down "Not in a romantic sense at least we're great at being friends" I could tell I was slowly breaking his denial "Remember who we used to be before we got together? I used to believe in telling the truth not matter who it hurts. You used to be so secure so sure of yourself. You didn't used to be scared of telling anyone how you felt. I admired that" I smiled thinking of how we used to be before everything "That's why we got along so well we said what we want all the time…well we used to" I frowned "Now we just lie to ourselves and each other do you really think we should stay together? Just shut up and shove our real feelings aside get married have a bunch of kids keep faking a smile hoping no one would notice we're not happy"

**And you would be happy,**

**And I'd make you smile**

**But I'd go on living a lie**

**But do you really want**

**To give your life to,**

**Thinking you've found true love,**

**When it hasn't found you?**

**Do you really want**

**To give your life to,**

**Thinking you've found true love,**

**When it hasn't found you?**

"Maybe you could pretend but I can't" my vision got bleary from the tears "And its not right for you to try to make me pretend"

"I'm not trying to make you cry"

"I don't want to lie"

**Cause this is not**

**What i had planned**

**I hoped one day that you will understand,**

**If i could take This heart i broke**

**And say i love you honey, If i could.**

I blinked a couple of times so the tears would go away "Don't get me wrong I like you a lot" I closed my eyes when the tears were about to come out again "I care about you and everything but-"

"You don't love me" I nodded

"I hope you would understand one day probably don't right now but you would see it's the right thing to do right now" he was looking anywhere but me "Its great when we hang out I mean I have fun with you and I enjoy the kissing but there's just no…" I bit my lip and tried to figure out what to say "Spark ya know?"

**But do you really want**

**To give your life to,**

**Thinking you've found true love,**

**When it hasn't found you?**

**I could be the one to hold you,**

**And i could be the one you need,**

**But i could never be the one **

**To give you everything.**

**I could be the one to hold you,**

**And i could be the one you need,**

**But i could never be the one **

**To give you everything.**

"A part of me wishes I could just tell I love you so I wouldn't have to see you hurting" I tried not to cry just looking at him sad boys was always a weakness "I would try to be the best girlfriend to you holding you when you wanted to be held. Be there for you when you needed someone" he looked more sad I felt a tear roll down my cheek "But I can't give you everything you want and need Jamie. Your going to meet someone who could and be so happy with her" I bumped his shoulder teasingly "Or him" I can tell he's fighting back a smile but not succeeding "Then you would be glad we weren't together anymore"

**Do you really want**

**To give your life to,**

**Thinking you've found true love,**

**Do you really want**

**To give your life to,**

**Thinking you've found true love,**

**When it hasn't found you?**

**Do you really want**

**To give your life to,**

**Thinking you've found true love,**

**When it hasn't found you?**

**When it hasn't found you?**

"Liz"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks"

"Your welcome?" not sure on how to respond that was kind of random "What are you thanking me for?"

"You were right" he smiled at me "About everything I don't love you I only thought I did I don't feel the spark either" he bumped my shoulder teasingly "But I still think your one hell of a kisser though" he laughed when I blushed. He looked all proud of himself _Bastard he knew that would make me blush now I'll never hear the end of it_

I put my hand up "Don't even start"

"Your no fun" he whined

"Oh quit whining you big baby"

"I'm not a baby I'm a man" he started flexing his muscles I laughed at his silliness "Oh you think that's funny do you?" I nodded "That's it come here" I yelped and started running around the house with him not to far behind me. At some point we ran outside to the backyard "Lizzie what are you doing?" he asked in horror "Put down the hose Liz and no one would get hurt" I was pointing the hose at his face he started walking towards me very slowly.

"Get back" he kept walking "I'm warning you"

"Just put it down you can trust me" he smiled at me charmingly

"Not going to work this time James" I sprayed him. He yelled in surprise and tried to block it with his hands but it was no use I had him right where I want him. I laughed at him when he started running around the yard trying to get away from me but I was right on his heals "What's the matter Jamie? Scared of a little water?" He stop running grabbed the hose and started spraying me. I screamed not expecting it once I got over the shock though I started to grab the hose away from him but he was gripping it to hard. We started wrestling for it getting wet the whole time. After about 5 minutes we gave up and started laughing when we looked at each other and ourselves. We were soaked and wet.

"Friends?" he said once we caught our breath

"Definitely" I hugged him and smiled _I wonder how he would take it if I told him I was crushing on Edwin. Probably shouldn't say anything for a while though. Doesn't really matter cause Edwin's with Michelle and he…no don't do this don't even think about it. Just be happy you still have Jamie as a friend and having fun. Don't go self pity now especially over a Venturi. Or at least wait until your alone whichever works_

**TO BE CONTINUED...**


	2. When she loved me

**AN:** I KNOW I SHOULDN'T TRY TO WRITE ANY MATURE STORIES CUZ I SUCK AT IT BUT I WANTED TO TRY IT AT LEAST A COUPLE TIMES THEN I PROMISE NOT TO WRITE ANYMORE MATURE ONES.

**EDWIN'S POV**

**When somebody loved me**

**Everything was beautiful**

**Every hour spent together**

**Lives within my heart**

_I can't believe its over just like that_ I sat up got tired of looking at my ceiling and just stared at my wall _We've been fighting to stay together for 3 years wouldn't let anyone separate us or let them tell us it was just some fling we get over but then she suddenly decides to stop fighting against everyone and ends it_

"Still thinking about Michelle?"

I looked up and saw Lizzie walking towards my bed "When am I not?"

"Good point" she sat down beside me

I sighed "I know I need to get over her Liz but I don't see that happening anytime soon"

"Why not? I mean I know you guys been together for years but I don't see why your still hung up on it"

"It hasn't been that long Liz"

"I know I've never actually been in love like you guys but I still don't see why its such a big deal"

"You didn't love Jamie?"

She shook her head "Not like that…I tried to but I couldn't that's why we're not together anymore"

"Did he love you?"

"He thought he did but realized he didn't and agreed to be friends"

"You guys were only together for 8 months…me and Michelle were together for 3 years"

"I know"

"We used to spend every second together never spending time apart" I sighed "Until now" I looked down at my lap "It was nice to have someone to love me for a while at least"

**And when she was sad**

**I was there to dry her tears**

**And when she was happy so was I**

**When she loved me**

"She used to always come straight to me whenever she's sad she said I'm the only one who can make it all go away…every time she started laughing again I can't help but smile cause I made her smile when she was crying"

**Through the summer and the fall**

**We had each other that was all**

**Just she and I together**

**Like it was meant to be**

**And when she was lonely**

**I was there to comfort her**

**And I knew that she loved me**

"I knew she still loves me which makes it worse" I shook my head "I can't believe she can be so shellfish about this…how can she blame me for everything? She told me we were meant to be together that I was the only one who didn't make her feel lonely then she dumped a couple days later…she was my first everything you know" she looked at me confused "My first kiss, first girl to have sex with, first love"

**So the years went by**

**I stayed the same**

**But she began to drift away**

**I was left alone**

**Still I waited for the day**

**When she'd say**

**I will always love you**

Lizzie just sat there letting me rant for that I was grateful cause I needed to "I shouldn't have been so surprised though" I sighed "I seen this coming but it still hurts like hell" I felt the tears in my eyes but I just blinked them away so it wouldn't fall "She was starting to become distant especially since she started hanging out with her new friends…she's not the same anymore she's not my Michelle the one I fell in love with" I looked at Lizzie's eyes "I'm still waiting for her to change back into my Michelle and come back to me and tell me she will always love me…but I don't think that's going to happen" A couple of tears slide down her cheek I knew she was starting to imagine the pain I felt.

**Lonely and forgotten**

**Never thought she'd look my way**

**And she smiled at me**

**And held me**

**Just like she used to do**

**Like she loved me**

**When she loved me**

"You know earlier I thought she might actually did change back…she smiled at me and hugged me kissed me on the cheek like she used to when we were together…you know what she said to me?" she shook her head "She told me that we could get back together I just need to listen to her when she told me how to act in front of her friends then everything would be fine" I laughed bitterly "Its amazing even when we're not together she still tries pressuring me to change into someone else"

"That wasn't the first time?" she look at me in shocked

"Please ever since her new friends started calling me a loser she wouldn't stop trying"

"Did you try to for her?"

I looked down in shame "I tried but everything I did was never good enough for them…I just can't be who they want me to be" she lifted my chin so I can look at her eyes _Wow…how can I not notice how beautiful her eyes are?_

"Why would you want to be anyone else but you? Sure your not the smoothest guy but so what? Your smart, funny, sensitive, can be charming, persuasive when you want to be, you don't let anyone pick on your family, your there whenever anyone needs you even if they yell at you try to push you away…you're the best friend anyone can ask for so personally I think Michelle is an idiot for leaving you" she kissed me I sat there shocked at first but as soon as it warred off I closed my eyes and kissed her back. Then she pulled back I looked at her confused "You know just because she was your first everything doesn't mean she's going to be your last…it was her lost Ed not yours" she caressed my cheek I closed my eyes again and moved toward her hand more. I felt her lips on mine again I pushed my tongue into her mouth and we started fighting for dominance I eventually won. I hovered over her and she stopped kissing my mouth and started on my neck. She bit down hard most likely leaving a bruise. I groaned I look down at her and noticed she was wearing a blue tank top and black short shorts. I put my hands under her top and was about to put it under her bra but to my surprise she wasn't wearing one.

She smirked at me "Problem Edwin?"

I smirked back and started caressing her breasts I got hard just touching her. She closed her eyes and moaned "Nope no problem at all" I stopped so I can take off her top "Your so beautiful" I stared at her breasts for about a minute than bend down a little to the left one so I can swirl my tongue around then drew it in my mouth and started sucking hard.

"Oh…oh god…Edwin" she moaned out I started caressing the right one with my hand and gave it a firm squeeze mostly hard enough to leave a little bruise or at least soar for a little while _Pain and pleasure was always a good mixture_ she wasn't exactly complaining actually she arched her back and moaned louder _Thank god we're the only one's home so she can be loud as she wants_ I bit down on her nipple "Fuck Edwin" she yelled and moaned she started panting more. I smirked then switched so my mouth was on her right breast and my hand was on the left. I kept sucking on it but the hand that was caressing her other stopped and went further down to her shorts. I started tugging them down but Lizzie's hand cover it and tried to push it away. I stopped sucking and looked at her. She looked a little worried. I smiled at her reassuringly.

"Don't worry Liz" I gave her a peck on the lips and put my forehead to hers "I'm not plan on fucking you tonight is all about your pleasure I just want to make you feel good" I put my hand to her center outside her shorts and started rubbing it she closed her eyes and whimpered "Would you let me make you feel good…please?" I pushed my hand harder into her she gasped her eyes opened and looked into mine. Most likely trying to figure out if I was lying once she was saw I wasn't she nodded. I smirked and took off her shorts and her panties.

I moaned when I got a good look at her completely naked on my bed I felt like the luckiest guy in the world I almost cumed right there "Fuck…you realize how beautiful you are?" she blushed I started caressing her skin just enjoying how soft she is. I put my hand down to her pussy to see if she was wet "Holy shit Liz your dripping" I looked at my hand to see her juices on it "All this juice for me" not being able to resist I licked it closed my eyes and moaned "So sweet" I opened them back up to look at her "Just like you" I looked at straight in the eyes and started sucking on my fingers dry. She moaned "I bet you taste even better up close"

I got down between her legs and put my tongue in her entrance. She arched her back "Oh shit! Fuck Edwin!" she yelled I started swirling my tongue around she pulled on my hair and started bucking her hips closer to my face "Mmmm…that feels so good" she kept bucking until I put my hands on her hips to stop her so I can concentrate better. I moved my tongue faster "Oh shit Edwin! I'm so close" she pulled my hair harder as I swirled my tongue faster "Oh…shit!" She whimpered when she cumed so hard her legs were shaking. I lapped up at her juices making sure not to miss a drop. I kissed her lips letting her taste herself. She tried to calm down and catch her breath. Her legs finally stop shaking after a couple of minutes "Fuck that was amazing…thank you" she started breathing normally again.

"Oh don't thank me yet" I ran my finger up her slit she moaned "I'm not done with you yet" I put my finger in her entrance she gasped. I pushed it in and out slowly for a little bit then started moving it faster. She moaned and pushed her hips into my hand giving me a hint she wants more. I added another finger and started pumping harder.

"Ooooh" she started panting again "Huh…oh god" she squeezed her eyes shut tight.

"Feel good babe?" I curled my fingers moving them around she gasped when I hit her spot. I started moving them in and out again making sure to keep hitting it. She started moaning louder. I stopped running them in and out. And started the scissors movement for a little bit then started moving it around in circles. She started screaming. I bent down until my mouth was by her clit "Does it feel good?" I didn't give her a time to respond I just put my mouth on her clit and started sucking as hard as I can.

"Fuck! Oh god please don't stop" I started sucking more and moved my hands more faster and harder. "Uh…I'm cumming…oh shit!" I bit down hard on her clit she screamed and started shaking again. While I took my fingers out and lapped at her juices again after that I sucked my fingers. When I was done she was starting to calm down. I went up to her so I can kiss her. She kissed me back I pushed my tongue in her mouth. She moaned and pulled me closer to her. I put my hand behind her head to deepen the kiss. She put her legs around me and started lifting up my shirt but I put my hand on hers to stop it.

"We can't Liz"

"Why not?"

"Cause its too soon"

"Oh" she pulled her hands away and started unwrapping her legs "I get it you don't want to…that's cool I'm just going to take a shower and clean off" she tried to push me off of her and get up but I wouldn't allow it. I pushed her back down "Edwin what are you-" I pushed my hips into hers making sure my dick was at her entrance she closed her eyes and moaned.

"Does this feel like I don't want to?" I pushed against her harder and she let out a loud moan "I just don't want to push you Liz" I tried to calm down.

"Your not"

I tugged her hair behind her ear "I don't want you to regret it later baby"

"How can I regret it when it was with you?" I kissed her she started to slowly take off my shirt and threw it on the floor. Then my pants and boxers were thrown aside next. I looked at her and I grabbed my pants off the floor grabbed the condom from my pocket and rolled it on. I put my dick back at her entrance and looked in her eyes.

"Are you sure? You can't take it back afterwards" she nodded "Its going to hurt at first babe"

"I know" she kissed me "I'm ready" she put her hands around my neck "Just push it in quickly"

"You sure you want me to do that?"

She nodded "If you put it in slowly I would probably stop when it gets painful this way I won't ask you to stop"

"You don't have to do this you know" I caressed her cheek "I would be alright if I just hold you and go to sleep" my dick was not happy at what I said _I know I want to fuck her more than anything but I want to make sure she's ready. I mean how fucked up would it be I just fucked her without asking if she's completely ready first? And after we're done she instantly regrets losing her virginity if she wasn't. It would be worse when she realizes she lost it to her stepbrother of all people. I don't know what would be worse if she pushed me away cause she wasn't ready or that I didn't ask and just fucked her cause I was thinking with my dick not with my head or my heart_

"I want to do this…please" I looked in her eyes to see if there was any doubts or something but found none. I sighed.

"You know its hard saying no to you" I kissed her and put her head onto my shoulder "Bite down Liz" she put her teeth on it but didn't bite down hard just hard enough to feel it. I took a big breath and shoved myself inside her once I was fully inside I lied very still. I was sure I was going to explode soon even though she's in pain I felt a lot of pleasure from how tight she was. She bite down hard and screamed it was muffled but still loud. I started panting but tried to calm down so it wouldn't end so quickly "I'm so sorry" I kissed on the top of her head I felt her tears running down her cheeks she was biting so hard I was pretty sure she was about to draw blood if she hadn't already "I know it hurts baby but it would go away soon ok?" she manage a weak little nod "Do you just want me to pull out?"

She shook her head and pull her mouth away from my shoulder "No its ok" she looked at me I saw the tears and started wiping them away "The pain is almost gone just give me a second ok?" I nodded and waited for her to give me the ok. After a little bit she started moving her hips her signal to start moving. I started thrusting slowly at first making sure not to hurt her anymore than she already has. She started panting "Mmm…Edwin" she arched her back when I went deeper I knew I hit her spot I started going faster and harder "Oh god…fuck!…oh shit!" she put her hands on my back and started gripping it I felt her nails dig into my skin.

"Mmmm…baby you feel so good…so nice a tight" she moaned "You like that baby?" I pounded in her harder.

"Yes!" her nails dig into my skin more "Oh yes yes yes right there Edwin don't stop" I put my hand on her clit and started rubbing it as fast as I could she moaned louder. I saw her eyes rolling backwards "Oh god…Edwin I'm so close" I felt her walls getting tighter.

"Cum for me baby" I stopped rubbing her clit and pinched it.

"Edwin!" she screamed and her whole body started shaking and was out of breath. I slow down my thrusting letting her calm down. I started kissing her lips trying to get her to calm down so I can go faster but she was still shaking uncontrollably and trying to catch her breath but not having a lot of luck with that. She kissed me back but her lips were trembling so I barley felt it. I bit her bottom lip gently and she moaned. I kissed her ear then bit her lobe and gave it a little tug. I started caressing her breasts. She arched her back and started bucking her hips just like that I started going faster she wrapped her legs around my waist tightly "Hmmm Edwin" I pulled her right leg up and rest it on my shoulder this new angle allowed me to go deeper I started pounding into her harder "Oh my god" she whimpered.

"You feel so amazing Liz" I groaned I knew I was close to exploding. I went as hard as I could. And grabbed her arms and put them above her head most likely leaving a bruise but I could careless right now. Her leg was still on my shoulder I kissed it she tried to move her arms but I just held it tighter. She looked frustrated for a second but forgot all about it when I went faster "You close baby?"

"Yes! Oh god yes I'm so close" she started bucking again "Oh god oh oh oh" I bent my head down to her neck and started biting hard "Fuck!…oh god…uh…oh yeah!" she screamed her walls were getting tighter again "Edwin!" her screams got higher her body started shaking and her walls closed harder around my dick.

"Oh shit" I kept going "Fuck Liz…almost there" she squeezed me tighter I groaned and finally exploded I swear I saw stars. I collapsed on her. We both lied there trying to calm down and get our breathing back to normal. She was still shaking. After about 5 minutes we finally caught our breath and she stopped shaking. I got enough strength to get up and pulled out of her she whimpered. I took off the condom and threw it in the trashcan I keep by my bed. I laid down next to her got us both under the covers and put my arm around her. She snuggled up to me and put her arm around me. I played with her hair which is covered in sweat now but I didn't mind cause I knew I was the reason why it was sweaty. I smirked at that.

"Wow" she kissed my chest "That was so…mind blowing thank you" I felt her smiling.

I chuckled "It should be me thanking you. Your the best I ever had" I started smiling like an idiot

She looked at me shocked "Really?" I nodded still smiling like an idiot "I thought I was the only one who saw stars" then her eyes widen when she realize she said it out loud "I mean-"

I laughed "Don't worry Liz your definitely not the only one" I kissed the top of her head. We just lied there in silence I thought she fell asleep. I just kept thinking how amazing she is.

"Edwin?" I almost jumped when I heard her voice

"Yeah?"

"What does this mean?"

"The sex?" I felt her nod "I was hoping that was your way of telling me you're my girlfriend" I started playing with her hair again.

"What about Michelle? I thought you loved her…I like you a lot Edwin but I don't want to be a rebound"

"Yeah I did loved her back then…but she changed a long time ago I don't know who she is anymore I stopped loving her when she changed" I sighed and put my hand on her chin forcing her to look at me "I love you now…not anybody else…your definitely not a rebound ok? Just because I loved her doesn't mean she was my true love…just my first"

"Who is your true love then?"

"Look in the mirror Liz then you'll find out" she blushed "I love everything about you" I kissed her "I love that you think and take care of others before yourself. You smart, funny, creative, kind, sassy, caring, and so beautiful on the outside as well as in" I kissed her nose "So independent, stubborn, won't take shit from anyone, always ready to defend the people you care about. Your going to be an amazing mom and the perfect wife one day" I grabbed her hand and kissed her knuckles "I just die the happiest man ever just being your boyfriend even if I don't deserve to even glance at you"

Tears started running down her cheeks I was about to say I was sorry for making her cry but then she smiled a watery breathtaking smile "You love me?" I nodded "I love you too" she kissed me with everything she had it made me dizzy she pulled back I pouted she laughed.

"Where do you think your going?" I tried to pull her closer to kiss her but she push me away "Come on you can't just leave me hanging like that play fair"

"That's what you get for thinking I wouldn't want to marry you and have your kids" she scowled at me playfully "Shame on you"

I looked down shamefully "Sorry" I pouted

"Oh come here you big baby" she pulled me closer and kissed me I was eagerly kissing her back. She moaned "I love you" she looked at me with so much love and tenderness in her eyes. I hoped I had the same in my eyes.

"I love you too" _How did I get so lucky to get a girl like her to even look at a guy like me? I wasn't kidding earlier I'm not worthy to even look in her direction or think about her. Whoever wined a billion dollars in a lottery cannot possible be even a tenth as happy as me. She's so much worth then the money I just hope I don't fuck it up. I already know I don't deserve this but I'm going to milk it until she comes to her senses and sees I'm not worthy of her_

**When somebody loved me**

**Everything was beautiful**

**Every hour spent together**

**Lives within my heart**

**When she loved me...**

**TO BE CONTINUED...**


	3. When It Was Me

**MICHELLE'S POV**

"Hey Venturi" I saw Edwin turn around and smiled when he saw who it was

"Hey Teddy what's up man?" they did that halfway hug thing

"Lassiter got distracted so I decided it was good time to leave"

Edwin laughed and shooked his head "So same as usual?"

"Of course" they started reminiscing on all the trouble they got into when we were kids and they didn't even noticed I was sitting against my locker listening to them. Being bitter by myself _I hate lunch I never have anyone to hangout with. I used to have lots of friends but lately I can't seem to be interested into gossiping, shopping, partying, or dating anymore. That's all my 'friends' do I used to have do all of it but now I can't stand it anymore. I wish I can turn back time and fix everything with Edwin_

**Ooh, no**

**Yeah, yeah**

**She's got green eyes and she's 5'5"**

**Long brown hair all down her back**

**Cadillac truck**

**So the hell what**

**What's so special about that**

**She used to model, she's done some acting**

**So she weighs a buck 'o 5**

**And I guess that she's alright if perfection is what you like**

"Hey thank Liz for me would ya? She distracted Lassie so I can make my grand escape"

"Yeah I'll tell her"

He playfully punched Edwin in the shoulder "Dude your one lucky bastard you know that?"

"Why?"

"Cause a dork like you somehow got the coolest chick in the school…how did you do it?"

He shrugged "Just luck I guess"

"Just luck? You and your brother got the McDonald girls! The hottest, smartest, looks like an angel has a mind of the devil, puts up with your guy's bullshit and your friends…that's not just luck man you got an angel looking out for you"

He smiled "Yeah I do" he looked over Teddy's shoulder and his smile got bigger I knew instantly he saw HER "Speaking of Angel's" he walked around Teddy so he can run up to Lizzie. He picked her up kissed her and spun her around "I missed you"

I glared at her _She's not even that pretty I don't see what all the fuse is about _"I missed you too" I tried not to throw up from listening them being all lovey dovey I still can't stand it even though its been 3 months since Ed and I broke up. I looked at her _Ok yeah she's a little pretty…ok she's gorgeous with her light wavy brown hair that stops just below her shoulders. She still plays soccer so of course she has a killer body she can pass as a model. She been in a couple plays cause the leading lady couldn't make it last minute Lizzie was asked to cover for her since she ran lines with her all the time so she knew the part as much as she did. If she loved acting as much as her sister they could make a fortune together. Of course everyone loves her._

**Ooh, ooh, and I'm not jealous, no I'm not**

**Ooh, ooh, I just want everything she's got**

**Ooh, ooh, you look at her so amazed**

**I remember way back when you used to look at me that way**

_Why did I let him go? If I wasn't so stupid and broke it off just because 'the cool kids' were noticing me. I should've stood up to them and told them that I love him and I'm not going to break up with him just because they don't think he's cool enough. Of course when I did tell him it was over I was so miserable I knew he was to…for the first couple of weeks at least but SHE kissed it all away and just like that he's over it_ I smiled when I remembered all the great times we had together. I looked over at the stupid happy couple making out right in front of me when he pulled back and rest his forehead against hers looking at her with such adoration _He used to looked at me that way…god I hate her she has everything I want_

**Tell me what makes her so much better than me (so much better than me)**

**What makes her just everything I can never be**

**What makes her your every dream and fantasy**

**Because I can remember when it was me**

_I can't believe how quickly he gotten over us. 2 weeks after I broke it off he was with HER. 2 FUCKING WEEKS. What does he see in her anyways? Why does everyone thinks she's better? All the sudden it seems like everything I do can never measure up to HER. I get decent grades, I'm usually nice to people, I'm good cheerleader, and I hangout with the same people she does. He used to think I was his dream girl ME not her. She was just a buddy he hung out with when we were together. How does he switch us around so soon and suddenly? I remember I used to be that girl before she came into the picture._

**And now you don't feel the same**

**I remember you would shiver everytime I said your name**

**You said nothing felt as good as when you gaze into my eyes**

**Now you don't care I'm alive**

**How did we let the fire die**

**Ooh, ooh, and I'm not jealous, no I'm not**

**Ooh, ooh, I just want everything she's got**

**Ooh, ooh, you look at her so amazed**

**I remember way back when you used to look at me that way**

_I'm not that girl anymore. He doesn't love me anymore he moved on to what he's considered better. He used to shiver every time I said his name. He told that if he had a bad day all he has to do is look into my eyes then everything goes away. Now he doesn't even know I exists anymore just walks right by me like we're strangers. How can he be over it already? He looks at her like she's the most amazing girl in the world all he sees is her…I remember how good it felt when he looked at me like that._

**What makes her so much better than me (so much better than me)**

**What makes her just everything I can never be**

**What makes her your every dream and fantasy**

**Because I can remember when it was me**

**That made you smile (me)**

**That made you laugh (me)**

**Me that made you happier than you have ever been, oh me**

**That was your world (me)**

**Your perfect girl**

**Nothing about me has changed**

**That's why I'm here wondering**

"Come on guys let's get out of here I'm starving" Lizzie started dragging them down the hallway

"I love a woman with an appetite" Teddy put his arm around her "So when are you going to ditch the dork and go after a real man?" he teased

She giggled "A real man huh?" she put her around him "Know any?" he nodded "Well tell them thanks but no thanks I already got a man" she poked his side

"Hey" he tried not to laugh "Stop that"

She poked him again and looked at him innocently "Stop what?" pretty soon she was chasing him around the hallway and Edwin just stood there laughing at them.

"Eddie! Man come on help a brother out!" Teddy had to yell cause he was already down at the other end.

"Sorry dude when it comes to Liz your on your own!"

"That's cold man!" Edwin just laughed and shook his head about to go catch up with them but I wasn't ready for him to go yet.

"Edwin" He looked around trying to see who called him "Down here"

He looked down and looked at me confused "Oh…hey Michelle"

"Nice to see you too Edwin" I said sarcastically

"Sorry its just you hadn't said a word to me in months so I'm in a little shock here"

"Yeah well it doesn't look like you were missing me anyways" he looked at me confused I looked at his ring finger he followed my gaze. Him and Lizzie has matching rings.

"Oh yeah"

"I'm surprised you remembered my name"

He looked at me confused again "Why wouldn't I?" I saw Lizzie and Teddy coming over but stopped when they saw us talking.

"Cause you got Lizzie"

He shrugged "That doesn't mean I forgotten you or us"

"Do you miss it?" I couldn't help but ask I had to know if I was the only one thinking about it.

"Miss it how?"

"You know…us together"

"Um…" he shifted uncomfortably "Not really"

"Oh" I looked down "That's…that's cool I was just curious" I got up and grabbed my bag "I'm just gonna go now"

He grabbed my wrist when I turned around "Wait" I looked at him "I'm sorry I can't really say it any better…sure I think about all good times we had in the past" I couldn't help but smile a little he smiled too "But that's the past Michelle that's it"

"Oh" I looked down "So did you mean it?"

"Mean what?"

"When you told me you loved me when we were together?"

"Of course I meant it"

"Then why are you with her?"

"Cause she's my girlfriend and I love her"

"But you just said-"

"I said I loved you when we were together"

"You don't love me anymore?"

"Not like that…I still care about you and I want to be friends like we used to remember?"

"Friends" _I hate that word its not enough I can't just be friends with him_

"So is that a yes?" he looked at me hopefully

"I don't know"

"Why not?"

"I don't know if I can subtle just being friends" he looked anywhere as long it wasn't me "I still love you Edwin"

He sighed "Michelle-"

"I know your not going to leave her for me but can you just answer me something?" he nodded "Why do you think she's better than me?"

"I don't think-"

"Don't try denying it you know its true all I want to know why" I tried to look in his eyes but he refused to look at me "I used to be the one who made you smile, made you laugh, and happy. You told me I was the world to you I was your perfect girl. I didn't change so why is she suddenly better than me"

"You did change and not in a good way"

"What are you talking about? I'm not any different than before" _What does he mean I changed?_

"You used to be fun to hang out with" he looked me in the eyes "You didn't care about what other people thought of you just be yourself and didn't used to care your were being seen with me…I admired that its one of the things I loved about you" he sighed "But I guess I was wrong because as soon as 'the in crowd' started realizing how awesome you were you changed into everything they wanted you to be…and you let them" I looked down "You dumped me and tried blaming me for the reason you changed into everything you hated" I felt a couple of tears running down my face.

**What makes her so much better than me (what makes her so much better than me)**

**What makes her just everything I can never be**

**What makes her your every dream and fantasy**

**Because I can remember when it was me**

**What makes her so much better than me (what makes her so much better than me)**

**What makes her just everything I can never be**

**What makes her your every dream and fantasy**

"How is she so much better than me? Huh? She's one of the most popular girls in school too! How is she so much better?" I snapped at him.

"You really want to know why?" he snapped back at me

"Yeah that's why I'm asking!" I glared at him

"Now you want to know why its over between us? Why I don't want you back as my girlfriend? Why I would chose Lizzie over you? Lizzie is everything I want and more she doesn't give a damn what people think. She doesn't let anyone change her into something she's not. She loves me and not ashamed to show it. She didn't try to force me to change so I can fit in with her friends. She didn't dump me as soon as her friends disapproved of me. She made them fit me not the other way around…she's everything you were but so much more and better" he shook his head "The only thing I can offer is friendship cause me and you are never getting back together I already have a girlfriend who makes me the happiest man alive"

"So that's it then?"

"Yep"

"Even if I went back to my old self you still wouldn't come back to me?"

"Your too late Michelle you had your chance but you blew" he kissed me on the cheek "I will always be your friend though don't forget that" he turned around and Lizzie was smiling at him he smiled back and went over to put his arms around her "Hey babe" he kissed her "I love you" he looked at her like she was the only thing that matter to him like she was the only girl in the room and it made me cry again just looking at them.

"I love you too" they walked away acting like nothing happened _How can I be so stupid? How can I think my stupid reputation was more important than him? If I hadn't screwed it up than that would be me with him not her_

**Because I can remember when it was me**

**When it was me**

**When it was me**

**When it was me**

**THE END**


End file.
